Should My Aspiring Influencer Friend Cease Exploiting People for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?